Does commitment = Self control?

The answer to the question in my opinion is no. Just because one says they are committed to something or someone doesn’t mean they posses self control; likewise, just because someone displays self control it doesn’t mean they want to necessarily commit.





When beginning a relationship sometimes in the excitement of it’s newness and our carnal attractions we can forget to be sensible.

Many of us want the by product of a committed relationship, exclusivity, intimacy, companionship, stability and more. But we don’t understand immediately that self control and commitment aren’t one in the same and to be committed we must practice self control.

This is evident in the ways individuals can take on the commitment of an exclusive relationship or even enter into the union of marriage then cheat on one another and swear they’re committed; they lack self-control.  The lack of self-control will have you trying to fulfill your every whim as it pertains your ideals and with people other than your s/o or spouse.

I’d even go as far as to say if we aren’t practicing self control in our relationships we are not committed.  It takes more than just having the title of boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and wife to be committed.

It takes you being able to see someone you’re attracted to and may even  have a strong chemistry with, and still make the choice to not entertain them and or the thought of what you could do to and with them.  It takes your ego taking the back seat  and not talking to people just to see if you’ve still got it, no flirting to see what happens, no hiding social media messages or text messages because they could prove to  make you look unfaithful.

It takes you considering the commitment you made however many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years ago. It can also be as simple as deciding to treat your spouse or significant other the way you truly want to be treated; you know you desire loyalty, you desire to be able to trust your partner, to know they’re for you and not for anybody else. Give what you expect to be mirrored, considering these things I believe will minimize  infidelity. And please know that what you do will be discovered somehow and someday, secrets of all sorts have a way of coming out when you least expect them to.

Work to say and do things you wouldn’t mind your significant other finding out about; the choice is yours practice self-control to better uphold and exemplify your commitment.


In Love,