Pain Educates


How many times did it take for you to touch something hot before you realized it hurt?

For many of us when it comes to matters of the heart we have to get burned over and over before we realize the importance of being honest and taking our time.

Being honest with yourself as to what you expect from another heart,  what you are willing to do for someone’s heart and what you are willing to put up with from a heart.

As well as being comfortable with the time it may take to learn yourself and  learning another person.

Pain often comes as a shock;  and sometimes we wonder why did we have to experience it? We try our best to avoid it, and we tend to want it to go away as soon as possible.

I’m writing today to merely encourage us to allow ourselves to feel “the pain”, I mean truly feel it and then learn something from it. Learn something that will aid in positive progression as opposed to teaching ourselves not to feel, and therefore no longer allowing ourselves to feel for others.

Instead work to understand that pain and use it as reason to try not to ever cause that pain on anyone else.

In Love,

Jude’                           Encouragement

What is “Speak”?

Originally POSTED ON NOVEMBER 13, 2012 BY  



Speak is a short documentary film produced, written, directed, and promoted by students of Texas Southern University school of communication.  This is a redemptive documentary that explores the lives of two young women who were sexually abused during their childhood. This film was first introduced to some students and faculty a year ago during the school’s annual “Communications Week”; the film was a hit.

Faculty and students alike, gave rave reviews about the transparency, courage, and strength of the films two main characters Kentra Gilbert 25, and Jude’ Ivy 26, and the necessity of the film. ” It was as if people were saying FINALLY, somebody is saying something about it.” said a student who wished to have his identity concealed.

The film touches on an all too familiar taboo, sexual abuse. The story gives details about the two ladies sexual abuse experiences with someone they both knew. Since the films first screening, the director and producer Stephanie Madrid, 22, and Krishunda Goodman 35, entered it into local and foreign film festivals. The short documentary garnered a REMI award,  the highest award of it’s category in the Houston World-Fest International Film Festival in 2011. It was also an official selection in the Mid-Atlantic Film Festival (2011). It is an official selection in  the Annual 20th African Diaspora International Film Festival in New York City (2012) and most recently the Hayti Heritage Center Film Festival in Durham, North Carolina (2012).

We are so proud of our fellow Texas Southern Tigers and wish them all the best in their efforts to speak out against sexual abuse.

If you or anyone you know has been or is being sexually abused please call The RAINN Hotline 1.800.656.-H.O.P.E.


Young And Married Life TV: “An Answered Prayer”

**Disclaimer** Some views expressed in this video, do not reflect YMCL’s . **

I briefly interview my parents on their love story. This was hard lol my father is very long winded my mom is too but she knows how to reel it in!! So this was our second take and we got it!

I hope you get something out of it!
In Love,

All The Right Moves: Take 2 The Hubby Speaks!


YMCL: What’s your story?

LA: One night I went to the basketball court to shoot around. When I get there I notice my friend Jarmel playing a game with this girl; but I still just wanted to shoot so I asked if I could join. When I did, I felt like the girl doubted my immaculate skill on the court, so I decided to show her up (buzzed and all). So, I began dribbling/flying past/crossing her (all at once) until she was like, “okay, yeah, you’re the truth”.

Once she realized that and gave me props, I decided to give her some sweat to keep for herself while I chilled for a while. Well, when she received the sweat, she seemed very ungrateful in the fact that she had the audacity to get upset! So I stayed for a minute just to talk to her and cool her down, and we ended up really engaged in conversation.


As the night lingered on, I yearned for hydration in the form of H2O; so I invited her to join me. Well, she did; and as any good host would do, I served her first. When I got ready to serve myself, I noticed she had finished, but there was more left in her cup; so I just took it and drank the rest… after that, something happened… She wanted to “make out” with me. So we did….. that is, until my friends came in .

Then we left so I could walk her home but ended up detouring *wink wink* to other make out stops along the way. After that day, we met up a lot. Then came my birthday (rubs hands as eyebrows raise while flashing an evil grin). I invited her over. Maaaan, we had the strippers, drugs, liquor, etc. but for some odd reason, she wasn’t feeling it, so we ended up leaving to a less lively area, and I was convinced, “Yeah, she wants the D”.

One long night of passion ensued until the break of dawn. It was on this night I found out she was a virgin. After that, I couldn’t just leave her high and dry, so I made her my girlfriend.

YMCL : When did you “just know” ?

LA: I “just knew” after THAT night… If she thought enough of me to give me the one thing she couldn’t take back, then I knew she thought enough of me to give me more (love, security, hope, etc.)

YMCL: How did you propose?

LA:   I kept asking her all types of questions about what type of ring she wanted and she just answered so nonchalantly not knowing  I was on my way to Walmart. She’d been feeling bad in her first trimester and so I wanted to do something to cheer her up. I came in smiling and she was like “what are you doing goofiness?”  And I proposed  I was like “it was only $100 but I love you more than that and when I get in a better position I will get you another one.” But she didn’t care!! She loved it!! Sported it like it was yellow gold! Still got it too!

YMCL: How is Married life?

LA: I LOVE MARRIED LIFE! (Sometimes)- I say that because it feels great to have someone close by at all times that you know has your best interest in mind and is available to love and love on you 24/7. Sometimes it’s not so great because that person knows how to push your buttons, and you can’t just be like, “shut up before I kick you out”, you know?… Those times when you just have to tolerate them because you KNOW they’re not going anywhere… But I suppose, those are the prime times life insurance policies pay off. So even then, it has the potential to be a win-win, lol… Jk. But “I” personally love it.

YMCL: What do you wish you knew before taking that step?

LA:  The thing I wish I would’ve known before marriage is that she doesn’t cook (Nuff said). Lol naw but she’s learning!

YMCL: What advice would you give readers considering marriage?

LA:   As for advice, I would say, make sure you are ready for that commitment, because there will be times of Heaven as well as Hell. But if you are not prepared to stick it out with that person through the roughest times, you shouldn’t be selfish and  take time away from them meeting another person who will. Finding someone with whom you can spend your time with is the best. Point and case: it’s now 2:19 a.m. And we’re up watching movies and frying fish #just enjoying each other!

**Update** In her post she mentioned me being a “drugee” I just want to say I am NOW drug and cigarette FREE!!!!!!


Llayron Adkins-juvenile justice corrections officer /psychology major

Jeromee Adkins stay at home mom/social worker
YMCL: What’s Your Story?

Jeromee Adkins:
We met at Prairie View University. I was in summer school and so was he. I was the virgin and he was a drugee (had no clue at the time). All I knew was that he smoked weed and I didn’t seem to mind. Until we met on the basket ball court, he asked could he play with me and some random guy I was randomly talking to lol. I told him I didn’t care and he immediately got in the game talking smack I was like who is this dude??! Trying to do crossovers all over me and such! That’s when I realized he was def flirting with moi lol one move made me quit the game though altogether. He wiped his sweat all over me as if he was hugging me….seeing as I didn’t know him but for all of 30min I was outraged yet turned on at the same time hehe. So I acted as if I was grossed out…at that time lol I didn’t want him to think he could get me *snap* just like that so I played tough . He offered me water but of course like the good Christian virgin that I was, everything was a bout getting the nookie lol so I asked him what he think I was and why he trying to set me up??! He pleaded that it was just a simple act of kindness from him to me. Well after he said this several times I finally agreed and for my safety I told my roommate where I was headed just in case I don’t come out alive!!!!!!

I went up and he poured me a cup of water but it was too much so I was putting it over the sink to put it out and he grabbed it and drunk the rest of my water. I was in shock and disbelief and he was like what??! I was just staring at him saying to myself he doesn’t know me or know if I’m terminally ill or anything like he is just too comfortable with me..weird but I like lol So we definitely started making out like we were in a movie and some guys walked in on us so I ran out like a white girl lol smh still embarrassed by that til this day. But anywho if I didn’t I probably would’ve been just another smash to him. So he ran after me and we made out all the way to my dorm by this time it was like 1a.m. Mind you I had class the next day so as much as I wanted that moment to last I had to go home. The next morning my friend asked me 21 questions and I went to class. Eager to hear from him or see him the next day I approached the bball court where we agreed to meet that day and he was there sitting waiting for me.

I tried so hard not to CHEESE when I saw him but when our eyes connected I just had to and so did he. Man the chemistry was amazing people were looking at us like we were a couple, how so sincere our hug was. He was smoking a cigarette on the bench and I realized he omg he does something I can’t stand. We created small talk, while I was blushing the whole time and we made a time and date to meet for the following day because he didn’t have a cell phone. But I avoided him the next day, I think because after seeing the cigarette I got a little turned off and I thought if I ignored him then he would ignore me and whatever we had it couldn’t be real because he would’ve chased me. These were the thoughts going through my head. So he FB me and messaged me for two days and by the third day I felt so guilty, because earlier he’d seen me walking with one of my classmates and he stopped and hugged me so deliciously so I felt horrible. So I was hoping I would hear from him on FB that day so we could talk.

I was feeling down, and I practically stayed on there until he got on lol he did and we started messaging each other asking serious questions about dating and such. My excuse for not dating him was a pathetic one. I pretty much didn’t want to get involved with him because he wasn’t the best looking to me at that TIME lol and he had flaws (weed smoker, and drinker). But he said he really liked me because I was a good girl and I was raised right and that’s what he needed in his life..after seeing I should just give him a chance we started seeing each other every single day!! Then I felt like I was ready to give up my virginity and he treated me like a queen so he was my test dummy…yeah u used him and it just so happened to be his birthday the day I gave it to him.

If I go into detail it would turn into a Zane novel and that is NOT what you want !!! Put it like this, it was so gentle and sweet. My first impression of him during my first time was amazing. He had me feeling like I was the only girl in his world. But I started avoiding him again because I was thinking maybe he didn’t think much of me anymore since I finally gave him the nookie…he probably just like all the other dudes, wanna “hit it and quit”. Then a couple of days passed and I was yearning to see him so I acted like I was taking the trash out. The dumpsters are by the bball court and that was “our spot” so I knew I would see him. Well, he wasn’t there! I was sad and mad at the same time. So the next day I did the same thing and he was there!!!! I hugged him and he said he missed me, and where I’d been? I kept calm and acted like I was super busy with school. That’s when I knew it was official and I introduced him to the fam.

YMCL: When did you “just know” ?

JA: I just knew when he told me that we were bf and gf the night of consummation…it was weird but he was forreal. Plus January 2010 I found out I was pregnant with my first born!! He said he wanted to marry me anyways so let’s do it!!

YMCL : How Did he propose?

JA: He was asking me all types of questions about what type of ring I want and all and I’m just answering nonchalantly not knowing he was on his way to Walmart. I’m feeling miserably in my first trimester and he comes in smiling and all and I’m  like what are you doing goofiness and he proposes saying it was only $100 but I love you more than that and when he gets in a better position we will get another. I didn’t care!! I loved it!! Sported it like it was yellow gold! Still got it too!

YMCL : How’s Married Life?
JA: married life is bitter sweet! A roller coaster is what it is!! Lol beautiful when the love is genuine and is in Christ, ugly when Christ is on the back burner and marriage is just a piece of paper you got to shut ppl up. It’s lovely when you genuinely want to be with that one person and not every other girl and you come home to your main. You just have to be ready for what life throws at you and your spouse pretty much whether it be floozies, financial issues, homelessness, unemployment etc. This will answer number

YMCL: What do you wish you knew about marriage before taking that step?

JA: Nobody tells you that if one spouse going through something then we are both affected by it and you cannot leave the situation as if you were bf/gf. So if he homeless bc of unemployment then you are too. You cannot blame one or the other because we are in this together so we both are to blame. I wish I knew everything about my spouse because a lot if things could have been avoided such as, drug abuse that I was unaware of besides the fact the he smoked weed. Weed was acceptable to me before our children came after that it was just another bill that takes away from me and mine SMH.

YMCL: What advice would you give readers considering marriage?
JA: Marriage can be a beautiful struggle as long as you struggling with the right person. God smiles on marriages that are in him, and marriage is more of a beautiful struggle when god is in the mix because blessings stay flowing because you are struggling together as one and in unity. I don’t know if I’m making sense or not . Quit listening to other peoples marriages and drawing a bad conclusion about your love life and stop  letting your vision be tainted by others experiences. Nothing can prepare you for it, in this case experience is actually the best teacher!!

My husband said the last question should be “are y’all happy?” To answer that question, I have never been happier since god showed him who was really important. His relationship and his family. My husband is currently 10 months sober and counting. Since then we have been blessed with two other children besides Dorian and job advances!! When drake says we started from the bottom now we’re here, I couldn’t have said it better. With god family and friends we plan to keep moving higher!

Friendship, Love, & Basketball!

YMCL: What’s your story?
Quetta: Nick and I used to play basketball together we were just friends. I started to grow feelings for him and I knew he had feelings for me. I was dying for him to ask me out and it never happened. One day in class I decided to write him a letter that read “are you going to ask me out?”. Now before you judge me let me say, I did such thing because Nick was very very very shy. Anyways after school Nick came to my house to play basketball since I had a basketball goal. I gave him the letter I wrote earlier at school and he read it right in front of me. After he read the letter, he didn’t ask me out can you believe it?!! But he was blushing. So I took it upon myself and asked him and he said yes! I was brave  because I really liked him and I knew he felt the same way! We will never forget September 26, 2002. 

 YMCL: When did you “just know”?:

Quetta: Nick and I were dating for four long years and I personally knew I wanted him to be my husband. At that time we were best friends even though we were dating. I felt so comfortable with him that I didn’t want to be with anyone else but him. 
YMCL: How did he propose?!! 

Quetta: I drove Nick to the flea market off of 45 one day. He got out and  I stayed in the car, about 30 minutes later Nick came back. He got in the car and  I was getting ready to drive off but he told me to stop. He took my left hand and asked me “would I marry him?” .  First of all, I didn’t believe him because we both play way too much, I mean we’re  goofy what can I say?! I knew we had talked about it but I still didn’t take him seriously. Nick had a ring in a black box and he opened it and asked again “will you marry me?” I responded YEEEEEESSSSSSS!  I was so excited, he slid the ring on my finger and I couldn’t believe it! I remember it like it was yesterday. The ring wasn’t fancy nor expensive, but I loved it because it came from my best friend and the love of my life.  

YMCL: How is married life?

Quetta: Nick and I planned our wedding in two months, and a big wedding at that. I couldn’t wait to be his wife so we made it happen. Marriage now is awesome and I wouldn’t change it for anything not even our hard times together. Our hard times have made our marriage stronger and made us realize that we cannot live without one another. Marriage now is peaches and cream, we communicate more, we appreciate each other more and so on. I have married my best friend and a very good man. I have the best of both worlds and I love my marriage. 


YMCL: What do you wish you knew about marriage before taking that step?

Quetta: Honestly Nick and I took a marriage seminar before we got married. So we were aware of a lot of things, now what I can say is, when you’re actually in it, It feels totally different than reading about it in a booklet lol. 

YMCL: What advice would you give readers considering marriage?
Quetta:  Advice I can give to young couples that are married or engaged to be married is to understand you will face rocky times, especially the first two years. I’d gotten married at 21 years old and that’s young, very young. That’s the age most want to go Paaartay! But I decided not to because I knew there was no one else for me but Nick. 
Keep your business to yourself and do not let people in who are looking from the outside. ALWAYS keep THE MOST HIGH as number ONE. Some might say it’s old fashion but I submit to my husband and I am my husband’s helper. He literally treats me the way he treats his self- with LOVE! There will be some doubtful times but remember you did  not make a mistake. You will go through somethings that will make you realize your marriage is all you need. I can’t believe that I am still married through the trials and tribulations we’ve gone through. I promise you I don’t regret my marriage nor the love I have for my husband. Keep your head up high because everything will get better. It takes two to communicate, to have passion, to love and most of all put THE MOST HIGH first and I promise you will not FAIL! :). Nick and I have been married for 6 years and together 11; I wouldn’t take one moment away. When I tell you that marriage is BEAUTIFUL, I mean it!